everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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