You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
birth control should be required to get into college
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
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