Barsexuality is the new black.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
