I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
I want her autograph on my taint
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Randomize