I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize