Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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