so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Randomize
