I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
