Nicole vs. Life
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
i need to put some appletini on your dick
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
