Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
