if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.