Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
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