I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
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