: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
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