that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Randomize
