why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
