I met the friendliest cop last night
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
