Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
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