She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
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