Why are handjobs necessary in class?
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
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