Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
I stole a fireplace last night.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
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