I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize
