hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
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