and you said cock pushups were impossible
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Can you bring me the toilet please
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Randomize
