Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Randomize