it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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