There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize