I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Randomize
