He is an equal opportunity slut.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
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