this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
