I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
