don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize