could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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