I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
