I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
I need to calm my uterus...
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
