hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
i believe in u and ur pee
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