I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
