my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Randomize
