I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
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