every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
