Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
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