I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
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