Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
