I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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