we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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