In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize