..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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