I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
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