I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
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