Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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