It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Porn is love you can see.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
