new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
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