Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Randomize
