so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Randomize
