So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
Randomize
