I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
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