She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Randomize
